Food: Pumpkin Cupcakes/Successful Cappuccino

Pumpkin cupcakes with walnuts and cream cheese frosting!

Been doing a slight amount of "cooking". I love to cook, but am usually broke (unemployed and all). Luckily, my mom gave me this pumpkin bread kit, which I turned into cupcakes. They were pretty delicious, I'm not even going to lie. And the kit made 2 dozen! yummmmm. I did not eat all of them, though I think I could have. I sprinkled them about to my neighbors, boyfriend, brother and Bible study group.




                                         

Pumpkin Spice Cappuccino!

Next, with the cappuccino machine my grandfather gave me, I made a pumpkin spice cappuccino! I'm getting pretty good at making them now. I should totally just go ahead and open a coffee shop in my apartment. It might be the only way to find a job. Seriously. Since I have a sensitive stomach (it gets angry when I drink dairy or soy milk), I use almond milk and it's tremendous! I need to get better at putting a "dash" of cinnamon on top of the foam. Then, I truly want to learn how to do foam art. For real.








-Becky
                             

Life: Vegetarian

Lately.....I hate to admit it, I really really do, but I've been craving turkey. A turkey sandwich from Jimmy John's to be exact. I feel terrible about it. I became a vegetarian almost a year ago and it has been the easiest thing in the world for me. I can't even imagine putting a chicken nugget in my mouth or eating ribs. I've always felt badly for eating animals because I can't even squash a bug without feeling guilty. I think even if a spider bit me and my arm was turning black and swelling up I would be yelling at the paramedics, "Don't kill it! Please don't kill it!" And that's just how I am. So it makes total sense for me to loooove being a vegetarian.


The story of how I became a vegetarian is quite funny, in my opinion. It goes like this:

Once upon a time, I was getting drunk. I was playing on a skateboard in the parking lot of my brother's apartment complex in the middle of the night and swinging around a bottle of Beringer White Zinfandel. I feel now that I must have been annoying some people who were gathered for the small party at Luke's because I was one of only 3 people outside. But that didn't cross my mind at the time because I was having too much fun to worry about social graces.


Then two good ol' Southern boys walked by and I yelled something at them along the lines of, "Hey!!! We're having a party in my brother's apartment! Want a sip of my wine?!" 


I let the skateboard roll towards the storm drain and decided not to share my wine, but I did tell them there was beer inside and that a few of the members of my brother's band (of whom they were fans) were inside. They were excited to meet Blame Sydney and I walked them to the apartment. We struck up a conversation about nothing really and I mentioned how much I loved the ducks at the pond in the apartment complex. Then, like assholes, the two start swapping stories and gloating about their cruel treatment of the ducks. One said that he threw a huge rock at a duck's head and hit it so hard it didn't kill the duck but gave it brain damage and it suffered until it died. They bragged about shooting the ducks and no one noticing.


I don't know if they were trying to impress me or what, but I was incensed. By the time I had opportunity to retaliate, however, we had reached the door of the apartment.
I opened it, waltzed in and announced, "This is Blame Sydney. Blame Sydney, these assholes kill ducks." Then I flicked off the whole room with both bird fingers and yelled, "SEE YA LATER DUCK-FUCKERS!!!" and left.


And that night, after cooling off a bit outside, I decided that it was hypocritical to get so upset about cruelty to animals--any animal--and then eat one that had probably lived a sad, unhealthy life. So, I declared myself a vegetarian and it has pretty much stuck. When I crave Jimmy John's I try to remember this story. And I'm honestly not sure I'll always abstain from turkey sandwiches in the future; if anything, at least the story makes me laugh.


-Becky

Music: Nana Grizol

"This is the field where I realized I loved you/This is the diner where we learned that people die before their time sometimes/The impermanence of it all, don't you let make you feel too very small." Nana Grizol, "Blackbox"


Do you ever listen to music and find it acts more like a time machine than a piece of art? The lyrics and the rhythm surging through you conduct your mind backwards to a time when you needed that song. It's the time when the music took you under its wing and sheltered you and you are ever grateful--it has been ingrained in your very blood. And now it exists inside of you and when it is played, it is an anthem that no one else can understand. Through the pangs of nostalgia that run the gamut of emotions, the song soars and rises high above. I am constantly transported from my car or bedroom because a song has taken hold of me.


I associate the album Plans by Death Cab for Cutie with the second semester of my sophomore year in college and Stars and Boulevards by Augustana with the year prior to that. Then any Flogging Molly, Lagwagon, Blink, or Descendants takes me through most of my middle and high school years. And Defiance, Ohio brings me to driving around Auburn or the Coast with my friends, going to house shows, getting drunk.


In the past two days, I whipped out my Nana Grizol and have been playing the album Ruth nonstop. Ruth encapsulates the weeks in the summer that I spent in Atlanta missing people and quietly falling in love--though I didn't realize that it was love at all until later. I got to see them in concert with Defiance, Ohio in Athens, Georgia with my brother and his girlfriend. My boyfriend-to-be and greatest friend was supposed to attend, but couldn't at the last minute. And I realized then how much he meant to me. So the album used to make me feel very sad and homesick. But now......it has taken on an entirely different feeling that is akin to joy and surprise. 


Today, specifically, I have identified with the song "Blackbox" due to circumstances that have arisen and that I do not know how to react to. Without going into detail, listen listen listen to this song. The words are illuminating as is everything Theodore Hilton (lead singer/songwriter) touches.


Nana Grizol, "Blackbox":


1. Here's the live for Pink Couch Sessions:

2. And this is the song as it sounds on the album:

Have a great day!

-Becky

Books: Southern Sisters Murders

I forgot to say that I finished a book this weekend. It wasn't my Will in the World actually. Every time I go to visit my parents for a weekend or holiday, I read a different book or continue to read a book I had started last time I visited. So I was pleased to finish a very hilarious installment of the Southern Sisters Mystery Series by Anne George. If you have never heard of these books (not too many people have), you should give them a try. They are light, charming, funny mysteries that are a breeze and a pleasure to read. Anne George won an Agatha Christie Award for the series and is a Birmingham native.
The books all have funny, obvious titles such as Murder Runs in the Family, Murder Makes Waves, Murder Boogies with Elvis, and Murder on a Bad Hair Day. They revolve around two Birmingham sisters named Patricia Anne (or, Mouse) and Mary Alice (oft known as Sister) who are in their 60s and stumble upon murders and solve the mystery surrounding them. 
Like I said, they are light reading and really great for taking to the beach or any time you feel like a funny page-turner. Told in Patricia Anne's voice, allow yourself to bask in the sunny blend of manners and polite gossip that is uniquely Southern. And if you are at all familiar with Birmingham or other places in the South such as Fairhope, Destin, Chandler Mountain, Vulcan (with shining butt references), you will feel quite at home with the quirky characters. The quickly turning mystery plots and larger-than-life cast of characters make any of these books worth the read. Here's a convenient list for you of all the books in the series:

1. Murder on a Girls' Night Out
2. Murder on a Bad Hair Day
3. Murder Runs in the Family
4. Murder Makes Waves
5. Murder Gets a Life
6. Murder Shoots the Bull
7. Murder Carries the Torch
8. Murder Boogies with Elvis

Check 'em out and let me know what you think!

Life: Unemployment

Unemployment sucks ass. I swear to God, I've never been so bored and frustrated in my life. If you don't know me, I thrive on being overwhelmingly busy. Like stuff going on 24/7 and I sleep in fits and breathe in gasps and that just makes sense to my brain and body.


Growing up I was a competitive gymnast for 10 years (ages 4 to 14). During the heyday of my career my schedule went something like this:

1. Wake up
2. Work out
3. Breakfast
4. School
5. Study during Break, Lunch, Homework instead of P.E.
6. Homework/Snack in the car on the way to the gym
7. Practice from 4:00pm-7:30, or 6:00-8:00pm
8. Dinner
9. Bed

That was 4 or 5 days a week and then on weekends, it was travelling and competing.

After quitting gymnastics, I jumped right into Theatre which carried my through high school.

At Auburn as a Theatre Performance major, my schedule was mostly this:

1. Wake up
2. Class
3. Class
4. Break=homework, catnap
5. Class
6. Class (ending at 5:00pm my senior semester 4 days a week)
7. Rehearsal from 6:30-10:00, or later depending on the director
8. Homework (papers, memorization, papers, scoring scripts, reading plays and on and on and on)
9. Sleep (usually around 2:00am)

Class 5 days a week and rehearsal 6 days a week, if you have a major role.

So that's what I'm used to. And even post-college, I had jobs and rehearsal or auditions of some kind to keep me hurtling through the days. But now.....

Look, I've never been fired from anything. Ever. Never ever ever. Until this one job in Auburn that was helping me pay my rent and not depend on my parents decided that my "personality" didn't "fit" with the restaurant. It would be very easy to get specific and bash the place and the horrid owners who fired me. I've done a lot of venting and I think posting anything too specific online would be to my detriment. That being said, I was fired without having any sort of warning or constructive criticism, so I was not given time to find a new job or given the opportunity to correct any dreadful flaws in my personality. I was just fired. And fucked over royally. Because of the timing of my termination, all of the students had gotten back to town and had plenty of time to scoop up all the available jobs, as they should. So, it's been incredibly difficult to find employment. I've had interviews, but no bites. And I've applied to countless places.

Lately, my days have been spent applying for jobs (which includes online applications, bro) and cleaning my house. Seriously. Until my friends get home from classes and if they aren't swamped with schoolwork. It wouldn't be so awful if I had some money to spend on paint or a cool rug or great food to cook and make an amazing dinner out of. But I'm absolutely broke. You never realize how lame a town can be until you literally have no funds. Everything everywhere costs money and it totally blows.

I feel like I'm whining. I feel like I've been whining for over a month now. And that sucks on a completely different level. Every day drags by right now. And it's uncomfortable. And I feel like a lazy asswipe. And I'm sooooooooooooo not used this. And of course, it's midterms for everyone in school. All of my friends and my boyfriend are in school, so I feel like a ghost this week already (it's Monday). Because everyone is absorbed in studying and passing their midterms.....and I'm jealous. Haha. I'd rather be worrying about getting something done on time or cramming information into my head than floating around in nothing at all. In a bizarre way I feel left out and I know I wouldn't feel so alone and disgruntled if I had a job. I don't feel like myself and it pisses me off; I hate being needy too. I hate waiting around like a puppy for people to get home and come play with me. I'm at the mercy of other people's time constraints, when all my life people have been at the mercy of mine. It is indeed a frustrating perspective and I wonder if people ever became very frustrated with me when I could never hang out or go to a sleep over or join a club or "party" because of those big, big things in my life.

I'll figure it out and I'll be fine very soon. I'm fine now, just bored. But. My mom gave my a twenty this weekend and I'll be damned if I don't go spend some of it on coffee and sanity right fucking now.  :)

Cheers.

At a church I used to go to as a little kid, there was an old man named Manly Neighbors. No joke.

I just remembered that for some reason. Here's a funny old cat picture:

Life: Ok. Stuff I like.

• This blog is named after my cat, Cleo, who is perfect and beautiful in every way. Here is a picture:

She is a ten-year old Himalayen mix and my favorite thing ever. She's living at my apartment illegally right now. Technically. 

• And, if you couldn't guess, the blog is also named after my favorite drink and desire to own a coffee shop/bookstore one day. Today is also National Coffee Day, so it is very special that I created the blog today. I shall never forget. I think I make a great, strong cup of coffee and I own a espresso machine of which I recently replaced the frothing pitcher, so I can make lattes and cappuccinos like a beast. While I am an advocate of the independent coffee shop and hate paying for an expensive coffee that I can make at home myself, I do like Starbucks. I like it way too much and feel like a hypocrite all the time : / .  But such is life.

• I am a voracious reader. I love a lot of books, but I definitely have a bent towards Victorian Gothic and anything Jonathan Safran Foer and biography. My favorite book of all time is Jane Eyre. When I told my boyfriend that we should be Jane and Mr Rochester for Halloween this year, he declined and politely explained that he didn't think a lot of people would understand the reference, which is one of the prices I pay living in a small town in Alabama. I also loved Everything is Illuminated and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Foer. I could seriously talk about books forever and I'll try and keep this brief for today. But, reader, you should get your hands on Karen Russell's St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves because it is fantastic and enchanting and grotesque in its own way; it's really lovely--a collection of "fairy tales" for adults. And a couple of them take place in Everglades-ish, Florida where the swamp culture bubbles into the literature. Immerse yourself! Of course, I love Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings, who doesn't? I just finished reading the Bronte biography, The Bronte Myth, by Lucasta Miller and it was tremendous. Eye-opening and matter-of-fact, but entertaining as well in the voice of Miller. And now, I'm reading Will in the World which is a speculative biography of William Shakespeare. It's fun so far and interesting, but lacking in a bibliography, so I'm taking it with a grain of salt, obviously. I was very close to becoming an English Literature major with as much emphasis on Shakespeare as possible. And maybe I'll do that too. Eventually.

Other Things I LOVE:

• My boyfriend. Duh. We were best friends for over a year and a half and now we're together and it is wonderful and hilarious. He is a creative writing major and a great musician. I find it especially attractive when he plays the drums. He has wonderful grammar and enjoys fart jokes and lets me be a silly asshole whenever I want.
• Cats. If you like cats as well (to an "unhealthy degree") go here because it is adorable and accurate http://catversushuman.blogspot.com/
• Movies.
• Music. Duh. Will discuss further on new entry
• Decorating/Interior design. People are extremely reactive to light and color and texture and I am not exempt. No matter how broke I am, I can get creative and make a space my own. More on this later.
• House plants. haha.
• Crossword puzzles. Holy crap, I love crossword puzzles, you guys. I like to think it helps my vocabulary.
• Travel: have been to London, Paris, Seoul, Buenos Aires, Chicago, New York, Phoenix, Disney World (but not Harry Potter World because I was 5 and it wasn't built yet), random places in Texas. And I want to go back to all of those places and others besides (especially Harry Potter World)
• I like farm animals too. But not in any weird sexual way. This is me and a goat I found on the way to the beach:

-Becky